I spend a lot of time on the phone every day here at Dell in the Austin call center in the customer care department. We get some of the craziest calls from our customers but this one needed posting, it begged for it....okay ... so here it is ... i am on the phone with this guy for like 25 minutes. he was calling about buying more ram and was trying to get me to diagnose his computer problems and why it has become slow lately ... so whatever...
then he starts talking about how he thinks his wife screwed up the computer and how he thinks he really doesn't need ram, but that there may be a virus on the computer... then he goes into how his wife may have given HIM a virus too ... at first i didn't catch it... but he started talking about how she came home from work late like two weeks ago and how she never comes home late - on account of the kids ... she was very frisky and so they had sex and since then they had sex a few times and to cut a long story short ... lately he has been itching down there. he told ME this - did I mention that I am a customer care rep at Dell??
I stopped him... and told him i was sorry about his situation and encouraged him to download trend micro to see if he had a virus on his computer - he didn't get the hint... well ... and it turns out that his wife walked into the room while he was describing his "virus" to me... she asked him - who are you talking to? and he said - oh nobody its about the computer - and she said - but you just said you were itching - you told the computer guy that??? apparently she didn't hear that he told me that he thinks she was sleeping around ... well he fixed that. he says ... yeah and i told him how i think i got the itches. i heard a gasp on the other end of the phone... and he starts laughing and goes on about something ... a minute later i hear these crashing sounds and his wife screaming "you asshole...you asshole..you asshole!"
i stayed on the phone to see if i could hear anything ... and like two minutes later he gets back on the phone and says i guess i don't need help with the virus anymore. turns out she came back with a baseball bat and took apart the computer piece by piece.
i guess he was luck it was not his head.
